What should be included when updating a resume or C.V.?

I'm under a certain amount of pressure to one day rejoin the workforce! Should I include things that aren't specific to the employment I seek for example my working as an independant astronaut with over three thousand hours of flight time logged, Ocean going iceberg racer Captain; or being a crack marksman with a potato gun at five hundred yards? I'm looking for work in the food service industry or vegetable gathering industry. Would it be better to list my sheer delight in bussing tables for the morbidly obese or how much I love to listen to People complain about their underdone baked potatoes even though I'm not the cook and can't do anything about that? Your help would be most welcome, thank You in advance!

What should be included when updating a resume or C.V.?
ah so you are out of work as well I've just updated my CV in the hope of getting better work my list includes Axe murders ,upsetting Christians [all the time ],scaring kids on Halloween ,lying cheating and swindling


the only two offers i got were to go into politics or become a lawyer


but hey you have to draw the line somewhere and even i haven't sunk that low yet
Reply:what no beating up old ladies? no swiping candy from children? those are musts if you want a prestigious job in food service as well as the following -


must be a non bather, a nice cat litter scent mixed in with your clothes is also good.





also must like to play with your hair, pick your nose, scratch in unmentionable places and yet manage not to wash your hands between any of these tasks.





if you can manage the above skills you might be ready for an entry level position in your nearest fast food restraunt.
Reply:You should became a hobo instead
Reply:Don't forget to put your short-lived stint as a basset hound trainer...those Gnomes really thought you did a good job!